What means the most: Mothering and Friending

I've been reflecting on this post in my head for a while now. Writing has always been a therapeutic tool for me and an outlet that I've always enjoyed.

I'm in my mid-twenties. I have a husband, a house, a career, a son, a family, and friends. Yes, I said it, I have all of those things and yet, I can still make time for friends.

When you're young, you always think everything will stay the same. In a way, your naive to the hurt and confusion that comes with getting older, graduating high school, and graduating college. You always think that once someone says, "I'll be there forever", they mean it and they should, but life just doesn't work out like that. Moral of the story, just like any relationship, friendships can end just as quickly as they begin and at some point in time, unfortunately, most everyone will experience the loss of a friend or two along the way, "just because". I've finally came to the conclusion that it's just a fact of life. Enjoy the people in your life today, for you never know what tomorrow could bring.

I have seen the post circulating facebook in regards to "sorry about being a bad friend, i'm a mother and in the trenches of motherhood". Yes, I "get it", parenting is hard and it is something that is placed on the lower end of the totem poll, but to say to someone you don't have time at all. That simply isn't fair to say. I am not saying I am not guilty of this, I certainly can remember times in the last 6 months where a friend has texted me and I have been less than efficient in texting them back right away. I can remember times when I've been on the phone with my best friend and have quickly ended the conversation with, "Ayden's crying, love you, gotta go, call you back soon; only to hear, "You're fine girl, go get your motherhood on, Love you too".


My point is: Your friends are suppose to be there throughout all of the seasons of life, not just a few. I, myself, look around at the friendships I have made and I have and they are definitely not all friends in the same stages of life, some are just getting married, some are married and have babies like me, some are work friends that are not married, some are married and have high school children or even adult children. Had they said, "no" to me because I was at a different stage of life than them then I would have missed out on some "jewels of friendships". Friendship shouldn't be something that is controlled or manipulated by how busy you are, how distant you are, or what stage of your life you're in. The point I am trying to make is that yes, just like all these friendships above, family is a given and it should always come first, but, in the same token, if you have time for "some" friendships, then you certainly have time for any friendship.

I was talking to my grandmother just the other day and the topic of friendship came up. Her remarks were, "One should never be too busy for a friend, gosh, you never know when you're gonna need them in your life. Life is simply too short, I look at my circle of friends now and they're all dying. I'd give anything to be able to spend time with some of them." When I become her age, just years away from 90, I hope that I have the same exact thoughts.


As Ayden becomes older, I hope that Rob and I are able to model to our child and future children the value and importance of a friendship. I hope that he is able to see that friendship is not just about when the opportunity suits you, but that he can see the value of friendship through a child's eyes; perhaps the most innocent and valuable type of friendship.

While, I can go on and on about the topic of friendship and worry about and regret those who have walked out of my life for one reason or another, I choose not to. I choose to rejoice in the people and friends that God has placed in my life in this moment. I choose to celebrate with the people that celebrate with me; weddings, babies, birthdays, milestones, and everyday moments. I chose to comfort those who have comforted me through pregnancy, Ayden's birth, numerous surgeries, and other hard moments. I choose to thank God for placing me at this point in my life and making me realized how abundantly blessed I am by those special people who I not only choose, but also choose me.

Christmas Recap: Ayden's First Christmas

Can I just say Christmas FLEW by??!!!! I guess that's what happens when you have kids right?

We started our Christmas festivities the week before Christmas with celebrating on the Joyce-side. Ayden was able to meet, snuggle, and even spit up on many cousins/aunts that he's never met before.

Before things got super crazy, we visisted and exhanged gifts with Ayden's namesake, Ayden. He is such a special kid that will always hold a place in our heart and I can already tell he adores Little Ayden. Little Ayden will definitely look up to Big Ayden as he gets older. Big Ayden got little Ayden the most precious book, I wish you more. (Yes, I cried when I read it).There's no one else I'd rather my kid model after and look up to than Big Ayden.

We also visited with Cindy and exchanged gifts. I can't say enough how blessed Ayden is to have so many influential people in his life at such an early age.

Every year, my mom has her annual Christmas party on Christmas Eve Eve. We weren't sure how Ayden would do with being out semi-late, but we ate (too much) food, mingled, Ayden was the center of attention, and then we left. No major crying sessions = success!

On Christmas Eve morning, I was SO excited. It just hit me that it was his first. I knew it was, but I guess emotions hit too.
We got up early, got dressed, and went to have breakfast with Santa in my hometown. Ayden had met Santa before and did wonderful, this time, not so much. (Santa's beard color change must have confused Ayden). I managed to get my epic crying picture with Santa and we enjoyed a leisurely breakfast with my mom and aunt. It is definitely a tradition I think we will continue, just maybe not at that restaurant on Christmas Eve.

That afternoon, we went to our church candlelight service and Ayden did wonderful! This is my most favorite part of Christmas. It is just something so special about being with your family at church, celebrating the true reason for Christmas, on Christmas Eve. Last year, as we were signing Silent Night with the candles lit and lights out, I got really emotional, thinking that I was carrying something so precious inside of me and knew that the next Christmas would be so different. This year, my heart felt SO FULL as I held Ayden during his first experience with Silent Night and candle light; as I reminisced on my emotions from last year. We are so abundantly blessed by that boy. We had many scares along the way, but through the power of prayer and God, he blessed us with a perfectly healthy and happy baby boy. He just brings so much joy I never thought one could experience.


After the church service, my family gathered at my house for dinner. We always have the tradition of having BBQ on Christmas eve; along with all the appetizers left over from the party. My mom stayed with us on Christmas Eve. It is a new tradition, I hope that we will do every year. It was so special to have my mom wake up with us Christmas morning. I enjoyed cuddling with my mom on our couch Christmas EVE and watching christmas movies together. Such a sweet moment.

Christmas morning came early and we eagerly awoke to see what Santa brought Ayden. It is safe to say that Santa thought Ayden was a really good boy this year. As a new parent, it is really difficult for me to figure out how to teach my child the true reason for Christmas, while still incorporating Santa into it.

Next year, I plan to incorporate the advent calendar, many Jesus bed time stories, and a Jesus birthday cake so that Ayden understands from early on the importance and reason for the holiday.


My grandmother always does an amazing Southern Christmas Brunch at her house. It is something we all look forward to all year. The food is so so good! Once again, Ayden met more family he has not met before. He was definitely the center and the joy of the festivities this year.

Rob and I hosted our family on Christmas Night. We did something non-traditional and had baked spaghetti casserole, salad, bread, and birthday cake for my brother in law. It was such a special night. This was the first Christmas in our new home and the first Christmas with our child. As I reflected on that day, once again, my heart felt so happy and blessed. We are truly blessed by the life and family God has blessed us with. We know this all year long, but on special days like Christmas, we experience it even more.

We had an amazing Christmas and we were definitely spoiled by our families and we can't wait for next Christmas when our little one is wild and running around. I hope that you all had amazing Christmas' with your loved ones and are ready to embrace a healthy, happy New Year!

Introduction: This is Me.

Hey Yall!

I have been on blogger for a while now, but have mostly kept it private. I have finally gained the courage to share my little space with the world in hopes to make some blogging connections and feel as if I have a {small} voice in this world. I have always always loved to write and have been often encouraged by my mom to become a journalist.

Without further ado'...

I am Carleigh.

I am a wife.

I am a mother.

We found out we were pregnant in November 2015.

And found out it was a BOY in February!!

We welcomed our precious, Ayden, into our world on July 27, 2016.You can read about his dramatic birth story here




I am a teacher. And while I have a passion for teaching and love my job (most days), my FAVORITE job is above. Being Ayden's mother.

I grew up in a small southern town and am all about the southern things a southern girl loves.


Sweet tea, mac and cheese, college football, monograms, sun dresses, cute sandals, country music, SUMMER, you name it.

I am a firm believer and have been most of my life.

My mother is my BEST friend!

Family always comes first and always will. (Even if they do ignore me) (: jk

I have a few of the best friends a girl could ask for and I realize more everyday how blessed I am.

In this blog, you'll find a tad bit of everything; as I strive to share my motherhood journey, wife journey, teaching funnies, things I love, trends, and sometimes even deep heart to heart felt posts.

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Ayden's Birthstory

I debated sharing his story because it is LONG and very eventful. However, it is a part of WHO he is and how he made his entrance into this world and will be something that he'll have to look back on when he's older. {If birth stories aren't your thing, feel free to skip over this post}.


The preface to his story really begins in April. Without going into many details, after a few scary weeks, doctors determined that I had an unfound birth defect ASD, which is a hole in my heart. This was causing tachycardia in my pregnancy. However, nothing could be done to fix my heart until after he was born. It did cause me to reduce my work load and hours and activity level to basically nothing.
We were told that this condition combined with my hypothyroidism could be risky and would have to be closely monitored in the weeks leading up to delivery and might result in an early delivery as early as 37 weeks.

July: BABY MONTH! At this point, we knew it could really be any time. With much rest, my heart-rate was stable and my thyroid was beginning to become more regular. My doctor decided on a natural delivery with an early epidural to speed things up (hopefully) and he also said we would keep on going until 39 weeks or if he decided to come on his on. We had several false alarms along the way but we finally made it to our induction week which was scheduled for July 27th (his great-grandmother's birthday!)

Tuesday July 26th: Apparently it was baby boomer week at the hospital. We had been warned that our induction may or may not go on regular schedule for July 27 which of course left me very anxious as it was MY turn and I was so so ready to have this baby. My sweet momma cooked me my favorite dinner as my "last supper" before going in to be induced the next morning and I decided it would be an early night once we returned from my mom's for dinner. We tried to go to bed early, but I was really crampy and of course uncomfortable. I kept feeling the urge to pee at least every 3 minutes. I attribute that to pregnancy and nerves at this point. I think I got a total of one hour sleep that night. I saw every hour and really don't think I drifted off until 4. At 5 my alarm went off and I was so excited because it was Baby time! I was still nervous they would call me and cancel my induction though... I guess God and Ayden had that detail under control because not even 2 seconds later, my water broke. It was scary and caught me off guard because I wasn't prepared for the "water" to include blood all over my new bathroom floor. From that point, I think we both showered, got dressed, called our parents, fed the dog, and loaded the rest of our car in less than 10 minutes and was on the road to the hospital. Poor Rob was so worried he'd have to deliver me on the side of the road even though I assured him it wouldn't happen that fast. By the time we got to the hospital, I was having regular contractions and they immediately took me on to my birth suite since I had already had an induction scheduled. We arrived right before shift change, so one nurse did my intake and got me settled in and then my next nurse would be with me for the day. (Another God moment- I had the BEST nurse that day. I could not have asked for a better nurse for my crazy day.)

My doctor arrived around 8 and confirmed that indeed my water had broke and I was at a "tight: 4 cm. My pain was intensifying and after he left my nurse (Katie) had a talk with me about my epidural. This is when I knew she was amazing. She said, "look you don't have to prove your tough to anyone, I can see the pain you're in and you need that epidural. Let's get one." I felt like it was okay at this point to go ahead and ask for one. I received my epidural (which wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined) and Rob didn't even flinch! My blood pressure dropped so she had to give me something for that and stayed in my room for an hour to monitor me. During this time, I became soo sleepy that I drifted off to sleep. Around this time, our family began to arrive. I was in and out and not feeling any pain so I took advantage of this time to sleep.

Around 1, I started to feel intense pain again. I was checked and was told I was almost a 7! (This was going pretty fast). Katie gave me an exercise ball to put between my legs to help him move down the birth canal. It was also helping my pain. I was so hungry at this point, so I was really hoping the last three centimeters would go quickly. I told Katie she wasn't leaving her shift until my baby was born. She agreed, she thought she would definitely be a part of his delivery.

All was great until 3 and then the pain was intensifying so quickly. Rob, my mom, and Katie were all by my side. She suggested I moved my position again. (She was amazing at having me move every so often to help as much as possible and had had me moving positions since 9 that morning). It slightly helped and I asked for popsicles and coke because my mouth was so dry. I crushed the popsicles (Which would be bad later on...but then they tasted so amazing!) Around 4, she checked me again because she just knew I was at a 10, I was over 8, but so disappointed I wasn't further. She called the anesthesiologist because she had pumped all of the medicine she could without having him do it again. He came and re-did my epidural. At this point, things got extremely scary. My heart rate went really high and Ayden's dropped. Katie wasn't able to get my dr to give me a beta blocker for my heart, so she re-contacted the anesthesiologist and he gave me a beta-blocker for my heart. (Another sign of an amazing nurse. She followed her instincts and did what she had to do). By this point, I felt like I was on another planet. My best friend Tay came in during this point and she had probably been there close to 30 minutes before I realized she was there.

**I can't say enough things about how supportive my people were that day. My husband and mom were my constant rocks and were both by myside (literally one on each side) the whole entire day. My mother-in law, aunt, and cousin Alex were all there as well and visited the birthing room frequently. Tay was also by my side after work. Having her there gave me a sense of peace. I am truly thankful to have a best friend that loves me enough to see me in labor. ( :

The hours of 5-8 pm were such a blur to me. I remember my MIL leaving and told me when she came back I better have had her grandson. I remember it storming and the TV alarms going off every 5 seconds. I remember the amount of pressure I had and desire to push. But that's about all I remember. Katie left around 7:30 and I got a new nurse. I wanted my Katie back.I do feel like things would not have gone as awry had she been there for the night shift too. The new nurse did her job, but did not provide me with a sense of peace and comfort like Katie had. Around 8, my fever had spiked really high, my heart rate was still sky high, and his was low. My doctor came back in and said, "his head his stuck and because of your conditions and his heart rate, we're doing an emergency c-section." At this point, I completely lost it. I had it in my heart I wanted to do it naturally. I had worked so hard all day and we were so close. I felt like such a failure and was so mad that it ended like this. Within about 1 minute of him calling it, my room quickly filled up. Everyone was talking to me, poking me, inserting more IV's, asking me questions, prepping me,prepping Rob... My mom had disappeared to go tell the family and as they were getting ready to wheel me to OR, I remember asking where she was. Before she had left she had a heart to heart with me and told me everything I needed to hear, but she hadn't said goodbye so I wanted to see her again before they wheeled us off. Just at that moment, she appeared. I was so thankful to have her and my husband there for those 2 seconds before I was wheeled off. I also remember my MIL kissing my forehead and telling me thank you for doing what I had to do to get Ayden here and for enduring all of the pain all day. It was really sweet, I wish I could remember her exact words.


Once in the OR, things went really quick. I was terrified that they'd forget Rob so I think I asked them at least 20 times when Rob could come back. ( I had so much medicine at this point, it's a wonder I remembered anything). Before long, Rob was by myside and they said, "Carleigh, we've already started, Ayden will be here in just a few minutes". I felt a lot of tugging and then time stood still. We heard his first cries and we both burst into tears. HE WAS HERE. OUR SON WAS ALIVE AND WELL. They handed him over the sheet to me and we snuggled for approximately 0.5 seconds before I turned to Rob and said, "you gotta take him, I'm gonna puke". For those that know my pregnancy, you'll find that funny because I literally puked from the day I found out I was pregnant to the moment right after he was born. Once Rob took him, I puked all in my hair and all over the nurses too I'm sure. It seemed like it took forever for them to sew me up and get to recovery. On our way to recovery, we met all of our family in the hallway. What a tearful, but joyful reunion. We stayed in recovery for about 2 hours and finally got to our rooms.

This was definitely not the birth I had planned out in my mind, but I had a feeling it could have ended like this. I am beyond thamkful for the people who took care of me that day- medical professionals and family. They all gave me peace about the day and made me feel like I was a rockstar through the pain.

Ayden Reed Joyce

The Year YOU Made Me a Mommy

Ayden,

About 7 months ago, on a sunny chilled November morning, I didn't realize as I woke up that I'd be embracing one of the best days of my life. You see, Daddy and I had been praying for YOU and wanting you for a while. We were running out of hope, but not giving up on faith. Something inside of me told me to just see if "you" could be. Those three little letters "yes" instantly changed mine and your dad's life infinitely for the best forever. Fast forward seven months, many many sick moments, thousands of blood draws, many worried "mommy" moments about you, millions of tears of joy (and hormones) and here we are, just over two months from meeting you and seeing your precious face, 10 fingers and tiny toes for the very first time. If I could do this pregnancy all over again, just for you, I would in a heartbeat, even though some say it hasn't been an easy road. It is a daily reminder that you are growing inside of me and there is life and a miracle to be forever grateful for. As you continue to grow healthy and strong, I have so many prayers for you, my son. I pray that you are and will continue to be healthy, first and foremost. I pray that your heart is filled with infinite joy and happiness as you go through childhood and your life. I pray that you learn at a young age what is right and wrong and everything that you do and say matters. I pray that you realize all people are people that should be treated with humble grace. I pray that you always see the good in people, but you aren't naive to realize danger does exist in the world. I pray that from an early age, you learn to love God and always follow his path in your life no matter how distant it seems. I pray as you get older that you carry the " southern gentleman" title and you always treat girls with dignity and grace. I pray that your dad and I are able to model the Christian marriage and relationship that you will yearn to have one day. I pray that you will be strong willed and determined, but never too stubborn to admit when you're wrong. I pray that you have confidence to know that you are capable of doing whatever it is you want to do, whether that be a sport, a hobby, a certain career in the future, or whatever else you would like to do. Most of all, I pray that you know from the moment you are born on, that you are always loved and cherished. There will never be a day in your life that you have to questioned if you are loved. You, our son, are saved from that pain that so many children face. When you keep me up at night, crying, you are loved and I'm reminded just how blessed I am to have someone to stay up for. When you make your first mistake or get in trouble for the first time, you are loved. You will of course be disciplined, but in grace, and I'll be reminded how grateful I am to have a son that's not perfect but admits to his mistakes. When you get your feelings hurt by someone in this world for the first time, you will always know your momma's arms are open to love you and hug you until it's all better and I will be reminded that even though it breaks my heart to see you upset, that you will never feel sadness for too long, because you have a refuge and safe haven in your parents and family. When you get sick for the first time, you will always feel loved and taken care of and will know that we will always take care of you no matter how contagious or yucky you may be. Mommy will even hug you and comfort you even though she hates vomit. When you're faced with a problem for the first time, you will always feel loved and know that you can come to me and your dad, regardless of how big or small that problem is. There is nothing in this world that we can't get through together and we will be there to guide you every step of the way. More than anything, I hope you will always know that unconditional love that your parents have for you will carry you through. Ayden Reed, I can't express to you how much I already love you. Every kick, move, and hiccup you do reminds me that you are a precious life that is and should be celebrated every single day. I can not wait to meet you soon and celebrate every moment, every holiday, and everyday life with you oh so soon. Thank you for making me a mommy, there is nothing I'd rather be.

Love always,
Your momma

Bumpdate Week 25/26

Date: April 20, 2016

How far along: 25 weeks

Baby is the size of: A cauliflower ( 13.5 inches and 1.46 pounds)

Gender: It's a boy! {Ayden}

Total weight gain: Up and down (Lost 4 over the weekend, so about 10 pounds total).

Maternity clothes: Everything is too big {maternity-wise} and too small {regular wise} Lounging in pj's/yoga pants most days.


Miss anything? Sleeping on my stomach and TURKEY SANDWICHES and Feeling normal.

Cravings: TURKEY SANDWICHES
Movement: YES! (Thank goodness, even through momma's scares, he's still having dance parties in there) (And he is currently breech).

Symptoms: Really scary week in the symptom department. To spare details, I am currently on Bedrest and out of work in hopes they can figure out the scary symptoms and get me back to the "normal".

Belly button in or out? In-ish

Wedding rings on or off? Off (no way, I am risking it at this point).

Sleep:So-So. Getting more during the day, so that's always a plus.

Best moment of the week? Having my sweet momma take care of me while hubby is at work and my grandmother eating lunch with me.

Exercise: Not on BR.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Suprisingly, that has gotten much better in the last few weeks. The smell of coffee still makes me gag!
Labor signs: None

Happy or moody most of the time: Moody!

Looking forward to: Getting the last stretch of this school year done, moving in our house, and prepping our house for this sweet boy!