Letter to My High School Self

The other day, I was listening to the radio and heard the song, “Letter to Me”. It got me thinking about what I would say to myself at 17. Oh the words of wisdom I now have and wish I knew then. This is such a special time period for the class of 2010; as this is a period in which many classmates and friends are entering new seasons of life. We are all graduating college, entering into their careers, getting engaged and married, and beginning families. We all reflect over our lives of the past years. We find joy as we reflect over the memories. We find regret in things we did and things we didn’t do. We find terror in some of the things we did and the people we thought we were. We find relief in the fact that there is life after high school and those years actually don’t define us, as we so thought they did those years ago. But more than anything, we find wisdom. Our years of college have matured us and given us time to reflect on the old us and transition into the complete person we’re supposed to be. We begin to realize our purpose of our lives and it’s only now that we realize that we’re going to continuously be on a journey of “becoming” throughout our lives. We’re always going to strive to improve upon ourselves and learn from our past mistakes. That’s just the beauty of life and imperfection. With each new season, comes a time of reflection.


Dear High School Me,
Believe it or not, you made it through those crazy, hectic, stressful, horrendous years of high school. My friend, we both know that those 4 years were by far NOT the best years of your life; as the cliché saying often says. You experienced much trauma during those years. However, as heartbreaking as those years were for you and as much as you questioned God during those years, He used those years to shape you into the woman you are today. Those experiences made you wise and mature beyond your years. You learned at a very young age the importance and value of family and how life can quickly change in the blink of an eye. You learned that life is way too short to waste a single day. You learned to never take anyone for granted. Know that as dark as this time seems, you will see brighter days. Know that I admire you for your bravery and courage. I’m proud that you held yourself together and still found happy days and happy times in the midst of your grief.

Spend as much time as you can with your family. Your family is and will always be your number one supporter. They won’t be around forever. Cherish each and every moment you have with them. Your days with your dad are numbered. Please make the most of those days. You will one day regret the time you didn’t spend with him and the words you didn’t get to say to him. But more than anything, Know that he loves you and you’ll always be his daughter, on Earth and in Heaven. Your mom IS your very best friend. You and your mom have always been close. Yes, you’re in high school and she makes you mad because you think she “just doesn’t understand”. This may be hard to believe, but yes, your mom is ALWAYS right and she knows you more than you know yourself. She will be your rock during your dad’s death. She will be the only one who understands your pain. She will hold your hand and wipe your tears as you grieve together. She will do everything in her power to be everything you need during this time. She will make so many sacrifices, unknown to you at the time, just to make ends meet and ensure that you’re taken care of. Because of this, your bond will only grow stronger and more precious. After high school, you will begin to realize how much she means to you and you’ll understand that she is truly your very best friend. She will be your ultimate supporter. . She will support you through your “college crisis” and she will supply endless words of wisdom. She will hold you as you cry through your awful breakup in college. She will stand by your side through your sicknesses and she will hide her fear so that she can be brave for you. She will introduce you to your future husband. She will be a living example of perseverance and strength. She will be your confidant in all walks of life. Cherish her. Be good to her. Save yourself some moments of regret and don’t take your frustration or grief out on her. But even when you do, she’ll give you love and forgiveness that you probably don’t deserve, but so need. You’re 22 now and planning to become a mom soon. You’ll want to be just like her and you will find yourself wondering how on Earth you’ll ever live up to be the Mom she is to you. You pray that your unborn children find themselves just half as blessed by their Mom as you are with yours. You’ll pray that her qualities somehow will find themselves in you one day. Take notes on her parenting, you’ll need them.

Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Enjoy the happy moments of high school. Yes, your grades are very important and will dictate your future. Yes, you are an excellent and dedicated student. But, no, that does not mean you have to spend all of your free time studying. Go out on the weekends ( in moderation of course). And DON’T feel guilty about doing so. There’s more to the teenage life than getting A’s. Trust me, you will realize this during your junior and senior year, but I wish you had just realized it a little sooner. Be more social and let your hair down and don’t be afraid that people will not like you. You have a great personality when you share it and open it up to others.
Throughout your jr and sr year of high school, you will make yourself more involved in clubs. You will even be president of NHS. This will take you out of your comfort zone. It will mold you and shape you. It will give you confidence. It will show you that you’re capable of being a leader. DO IT. Don’t be afraid. You won’t regret it. It’ll be one of the best decisions you’ll make in high school and many memories and friends will be formed through this opportunity.

No, you’re not a member of a particular cliché. And, that is perfectly fine. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. There are many people who love you for who you are. If you have to change to be friends with someone, then they aren’t your friend to begin with, just remember that. Popularity does not define you. You, just like many other teenagers, are still struggling with your identity and self-image. Please know that being popular or wearing a certain label does not define you. You will figure this out later on, but the sooner you do, the happier you’ll be. You have friends from many different groups. Many of the friends you have now, you won’t see after high school. Some you will see, but they won’t be your “best friend”. That doesn’t mean that you don’t love them, it’s just part of growing up. Graduation and college change people. Enjoy the time you have with them now, you’ll cherish those memories in the future. There are several “gems” of friends that will be your lifelong friends. Stick close to Tay. You two will still be best friends after high school and after college. Just as any pair of best friends, you two will have your struggles. You will get mad at each other, but you’ll always love each other and cherish each other’s friendship. Don’t get caught up in high school drama that you’ll both laugh over one day. Trust me, it’s funny and you will laugh. Tay will hold your hand through the rough moments of life. She will be the one who buys you a bag of chocolate chip cookies and sits by your side as you eat every single one of them after your breakup. She will cheer you up even when you think your mood couldn’t get any worse. She will be worried sick about you when you get really sick in college. She will hold your wedding dress as you pee and share in the joy of the happiest moment of your life. Cherish her friendship. You’re blessed to have her. Stick close to Amber. She will end up being one of your best friends. Your friendship will blossom throughout your senior year in high school and throughout college. She will be by your side through your dad’s death. She will be a source of strength that you will carry you through. She will hold your hand through the awful breakup you have in college. She will help you plan your wedding and will hold your wedding dress while you pee. She will celebrate with you through the happy moments of life and she will also stand by you during the tough times of life. You know she’s a special part of your life now, but you’ll realize later just how much you love having her as your friend and how much you cherish her. There will be many more friends you will meet in college. You will be blessed abundantly by their friendships as well. Just wait and see.

Cling to your faith. You’re a great person, You’ve got a good soul. However, without Christ, you’re nothing and you’ll never live to your full potential. You will draw close to God in High School. You will cling to His faith and mercy. You will also question Him and you’ll turn away from Him for a while. This is normal. You will be drawn back to Him through circumstances in college. You will truly accept Him as the savior in your life and you will grow a relationship with Him. You will learn to put your faith first and pray constantly. This will all make sense later on in the bigger picture. Just listen to me. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says ‘There’s a time, reason, and season for everything under God.” Know that you’re hurting now. You’re questioning your God and you can’t possibly understand how this is part of his plan. It’s very likely you will never understand his reasoning until you see His face in heaven, but just know that He is the author of your life and He knows what he is doing. Cling to His faith and strength, don’t lose your way, but when you do, He will welcome you back with open arms.

How do you know God is working in your life? Well, just look around. You, my friend, are so incredibly blessed. In the midst of your circumstances, He is still working in your life. He will bring you the people you need to work through Him to help you. In every season of your life, you meet people that get you through that season. They may stay for a season, or they may stay longer, but their presence is proof God’s working in your life. Look at Cindy, she is your second mom and she will continue to express to you the importance of faith and understanding His purpose. She will stand by you as you make major life-changing decisions in the future. She is a Godly example of the Godly woman He wants you to be one day. Cherish her love and never forget to tell her how much she means to you. Mrs. Wilson is also proof of God working in your life. You will meet her just a short month after you dad dies. She will become the person you go to during third period of senior year when you need to just vent and cry. Besides your mom, she will be the only one you feel comfortable sharing your grief in front of. She will have God’s words that you need to hear and she will be an encourager to you throughout that year. She will show you her love and her strength. You will want to be like her one day. She is your blessing in disguise. Please remember to thank her and let her know how much you genuinely appreciate her. While, she will only remain in your life for that one chapter and season, know, she had a purpose in your life and her life example will have a lasting impact on you as you journey through the many chapters of your life. God has blessed you with so many people at each chapter in your life. They serve in your life…remember to be a servant to others. You’re never too young to allow your story to become an encouragement to someone else. Strive to always “give back” to people as so many have given to you. You never know how God will use your life to touch someone else’s,

Guys… oh guys. You know that guy that you’re going to marry? The fantasy wedding you have all planned out in your head, down to the date, colors, and people in it…well that isn’t going to happen. He’s not the one. I can’t tell you to not fall in love, because that heartbreak will shape you and mold you into the woman you will be one day. It will prepare your heart for the right man, that man you will marry. However, I can tell you that when you do fall in love, don’t fall in love so hard. Yes, a high school sweetheart is a big deal, but he shouldn’t define you. Guard your heart. Have the courage to stand up for yourself and do not let him get by with treating you the way he does. I wish I could tell you how it turns out, but that would just ruin the journey. Just hold your head high and know that it will all work out. Your husband will be incredible. Will he be perfect? No. Will he make you mad? Yes. Will you two fight? Yes. Will you always give each other your best? No. Will it be the perfect fairytale? No, but yes. You see, you’ll learn that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Love is one of those things. Love isn’t something that resembles a Hollywood movie. Love is not merely a feeling, but more of a choice. To love someone, you have to both choose to love each other through the good and the bad. That’s why it’s a part of your marriage vows. That is the way God destined it to be. Marriage is what you make it. That is why it is in a sense a fairytale… designed by God but played by you and your husband. You two will love each other to death’s end and you’ll learn to be each other’s best friends through each season of life, and that my friend is why He is perfect for you. This will all make sense later on…I promise.

You know that career plan you have and that college you’re going to…well you don’t. Word of advice… listen to your mom when she tells you to apply to UNCG. You can roll your eyes like you did, but later, you will thank her for being right once again. That medical degree you’re going to get…yeah, not going to happen. Exercise science… yeah, no again...counseling…yeah, not gonna happen…in the end, you’ll ultimately be faced with a choice between two fulfilling careers. I don’t need to tell you what they are. You know. The path you chose will define the rest of your life. Both will make huge impacts on others and will allow you to share your heart and soul. The one you choose? Well you’ll just have to wait and see. Just follow your heart, you will make the right decision for you in the end

Through it all, know that I love you. I have full faith and confidence in you to know that you’ll make all the right choices and figure it all out. Always give yourself the credit you deserve, you’re going to go far one day, my friend…just wait and see. You’ve got a beautiful ride.


Love,
Your 22 year old self