I'm in my mid-twenties. I have a husband, a house, a career, a son, a family, and friends. Yes, I said it, I have all of those things and yet, I can still make time for friends.
When you're young, you always think everything will stay the same. In a way, your naive to the hurt and confusion that comes with getting older, graduating high school, and graduating college. You always think that once someone says, "I'll be there forever", they mean it and they should, but life just doesn't work out like that. Moral of the story, just like any relationship, friendships can end just as quickly as they begin and at some point in time, unfortunately, most everyone will experience the loss of a friend or two along the way, "just because". I've finally came to the conclusion that it's just a fact of life. Enjoy the people in your life today, for you never know what tomorrow could bring.
I have seen the post circulating facebook in regards to "sorry about being a bad friend, i'm a mother and in the trenches of motherhood". Yes, I "get it", parenting is hard and it is something that is placed on the lower end of the totem poll, but to say to someone you don't have time at all. That simply isn't fair to say. I am not saying I am not guilty of this, I certainly can remember times in the last 6 months where a friend has texted me and I have been less than efficient in texting them back right away. I can remember times when I've been on the phone with my best friend and have quickly ended the conversation with, "Ayden's crying, love you, gotta go, call you back soon; only to hear, "You're fine girl, go get your motherhood on, Love you too".
My point is: Your friends are suppose to be there throughout all of the seasons of life, not just a few. I, myself, look around at the friendships I have made and I have and they are definitely not all friends in the same stages of life, some are just getting married, some are married and have babies like me, some are work friends that are not married, some are married and have high school children or even adult children. Had they said, "no" to me because I was at a different stage of life than them then I would have missed out on some "jewels of friendships". Friendship shouldn't be something that is controlled or manipulated by how busy you are, how distant you are, or what stage of your life you're in. The point I am trying to make is that yes, just like all these friendships above, family is a given and it should always come first, but, in the same token, if you have time for "some" friendships, then you certainly have time for any friendship.
I was talking to my grandmother just the other day and the topic of friendship came up. Her remarks were, "One should never be too busy for a friend, gosh, you never know when you're gonna need them in your life. Life is simply too short, I look at my circle of friends now and they're all dying. I'd give anything to be able to spend time with some of them." When I become her age, just years away from 90, I hope that I have the same exact thoughts.
As Ayden becomes older, I hope that Rob and I are able to model to our child and future children the value and importance of a friendship. I hope that he is able to see that friendship is not just about when the opportunity suits you, but that he can see the value of friendship through a child's eyes; perhaps the most innocent and valuable type of friendship.
While, I can go on and on about the topic of friendship and worry about and regret those who have walked out of my life for one reason or another, I choose not to. I choose to rejoice in the people and friends that God has placed in my life in this moment. I choose to celebrate with the people that celebrate with me; weddings, babies, birthdays, milestones, and everyday moments. I chose to comfort those who have comforted me through pregnancy, Ayden's birth, numerous surgeries, and other hard moments. I choose to thank God for placing me at this point in my life and making me realized how abundantly blessed I am by those special people who I not only choose, but also choose me.
